What to do with a bully

**rgaudreau** · 05-29-2002, 01:19 PM

I`ve had a couple of incidents of bullying at school this year.... Not the typical bully who goes into the schoolyard and beats up kids. I`ve encountered a lot of verbal teasing and harrassment. In the past, I`ve generally encountered this problem with girls, but this year it`s my boys who are doing it.

Basically, they are picking on other students with a low self esteem. I`ve had two of these students talk about suicide and they are now receiving counselling for these issues and others that were bothering them.

My basic question is: How do you handle these kinds of bullies in the classroom.

I had a chat with the kids and used something they could relate to (which I stole from the DARE program by the way). I used a balloon as an example. Someone with a high self esteem has a full balloon. Everytime they feel good about themselves, the balloon gets larger and prettier. But a person with a poor self esteem has a really small balloon. Everytime you call them a name, their balloon lets out a little bit of air. Eventually the balloon runs out of air. If you keep teasing and calling them names, the ballon eventually has nothing else to give. This lesson seemed to hit home when I talked about it. However, they`ve since gone on to bully 2 other kids this year with the latest incident being last week.

I`ve contacted the parents after each incident by sending a letter home and also by following up the last 2 times with a phone call. (not much help there. I`ve also had the kids write a letter to the offended kid (the 3rd one) to apologize. They also had to offer the letter on their own with an apology. I`ve also warned the kids and the parents that another incident like this one will result in a suspension from school.

Any other ideas on ways to handle this type of situation. I think I`ve done okay, but I`m always curious to see what others would do and how they would handle it. also this might help some of the new teachers who are wandering around here.

Rene

**David of Houston** · 05-30-2002, 04:42 PM

Why don't you convene a class court?

Select a "jury" of responsible students.

Have the plantiff(s) submit a complaint. They may call student witnesses. They may also talk about how they feel.

Have the defendant(s) explain/rationalize/justify their behavior.

Have the jury meet in the hallway (out of sight of the defendants). The jury can come back with a guilty or not guilty vote - along with a recommendation for punishment if the defendants are guilty.

The use of a peer court will (hopefully) show these bullies that the class stands united against their behavior. Peer group disapproval will (hopefully) make these students think twice about future bullying.

**rgaudreau** · 05-30-2002, 04:48 PM

That`s a good idea...

However....

Wouldn`t you worry about parents starting to complain about bringing up their children`s behaviour on a classroom level.

This is no longer anonymous. Usually we try to solve problems in hallways, and in private. This brings the whole issue to light in front of all the students.

I DO however realise that this would teach valuable life lessons to the kids.

Ren

**David of Houston** · 05-30-2002, 07:43 PM

I used a class court when I taught in the inner-city schools - so parental complaints (or parental involvement of any kind) was non-existent.

I DID talk to the building administrator prior to implementing this system and I had his full support.

**Hope4Me** · 05-31-2002, 08:33 PM

You might try class meetings - kids are allowed to talk about a topic you pick, but no names are used. I think it helps kids see classmates as real people.

**Leslie** · 06-07-2002, 01:22 AM

Unfortunately, none of these strategies will work alone. Any or all would be fine to use in conjunction with a whole-school bully prevention program. Even in a single classroom it is difficult to implement an effective plan without administrative support. Bullies are sneaky -- they will find a way to do what they want to do outside of your class where they know no one else will stop them.

Talking to parents does no good. Having the bully talk to the counselor does no good. And PLEASE do not ever make the bully apologize to the victim -- in the end, the victim will suffer even MORE and the behavior will be even more indirect so that the adults do not realize what is going on.

I am teaching an online bully prevention class that can be found linked on my website. If you would like to learn how to implement a bully prevention and intervention program, read the syllabus and see if you think the class might help. There are lots of administrators and counselors in the class right now and a few teachers and some parents too. We cover all the bases and the class project is to develop a plan for bully prevention program in your school or classroom. The discussions are fantastic -- so it's a great way to share experience and information with others.

**David of Houston** · 06-07-2002, 01:30 AM

I was watching a program on television that suggested roleplaying. If you were very careful, you could have the actual bully roleplay the part of the victim. You could have a big, strong, confident student who isn't intimidated by the actual bully to act as a bully. You could then roleplay and discuss how everyone felt.

If the real bully "felt" what it actually feels like to be a victim - perhaps he/she might have second thoughts. (Probably not - but it's worth a shot).

David

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