Thread: adult kids living at home

My son is living at home while he is student teaching. Because he is technically still in school and does not get a salary (and in fact PAYS for the privilege of teaching ) we do not expect him to pay. He is expected to do his own laundry, keep his room relatively clean, clean up after himself and take care of shoveling and/or mowing the lawn. No particuar rules since he is a VERY nice young man (thank goodness). We do ask that he call if he is coming home really late or not at all.

Hmm...I've lived with my father for eight years, since I got out of grad school. What was supposed to be a temporary state of affairs has now lasted nearly a decade.....sheesh. Too long a story but it has been a situation of mutual necessity. I don't pay rent- I do pay the bills (electric, phone, etc), and usually put up money for repairs or improvements. Each of us does our own laundry, cleans or doesn't clean his own room, and yardwork is done as needed by whomever gets to it. But I adamantly will not wash dishes. I'm way more than 18 (nearly twice that, this week) and we haven't had any "rules" involved. I go stay with friends a lot, so if anything I guess "untoward" goes on, it happens elsewhere. I recommend you do what you think you can live with, and what you think the young one can afford.

I don't have kids of my own, but I lived at home for a LONG time! I was three months from my 30th birthday when I moved into my own house.

I graduated from high school at age 17, moved to the next county two weeks later to attend summer school, and moved back home with my parents 5 years later. (I changed majors 3 times, so my "4 year degree" took 5 years.)

After graduation, I took a job subbing in my home town, so I moved back in with my parents. They lived a mile from the school. Then when I got my teaching job, I stayed with them because. . . well, because it was working fine! (I'm the only child, which might make a difference, too!)

I didn't have a curfew or chores or rent/utilities, per se. Actually, I didn't have a curfew or chores when I was growing up either. I just naturally helped with things around the house and did other things when I was asked. As far as the curfew, I always let them know where I was going and when I would be back. If I was running late, I called. I paid for any expenses that were "mine"--like my internet service, long distance calls, clothes, car payment, insurance, and the like. I also chipped in on other things as needed. I was, however, encouraged to save a certain amount of money each paycheck (ie--an amount equivalent to what I'd have paid in rent)and restricted on spending some money (ie--my parents gave me a college fund, which I still have because I got a scholarship).

My parents and I have a really good relationship, so we got along fine with our arrangement. I know that I didn't really like the whole "save the rent amount" arrangement at first, but 5 years ago when I was house shopping, I really appreciated it! At a time when lots of my friends were either still paying rent or paying huge mortgage payments, I was able to use my "rent money" to make a large downpayment on a house I really love, my monthly payment is less than most rent payments, AND I'll have it paid for in 12 more years!!

I don't like the idea of living off your parents as an adult--as a health, capable adult, let me add--but I don't see a problem with adult children living at home when they're behaving like adults!

Originally Posted by JohnBoy

I don't pay rent- I do pay the bills (electric, phone, etc), and usually put up money for repairs or improvements. .. I'm way more than 18 (nearly twice that, this week)

I also pay the bills for the whole household and I buy those foods that only I will eat (peanut butter etc). My mother buys the groceries and other similar stuff.
While I was a college student, basically my mother paid everything. We lived very frugally (the whole country was in a mess so there was nothing much to buy anyway), but I could eat a large meal a day at student cafeteria and I brought some home, so we just lived day-to-day.
My sister does most of the chores. She believes that I would ruin the food processor, washing machine etc if I touched them while they were on...
I used to cook a lot, but since I started a diet, I do much less cooking, because I always manage to make tons of yummy food (for my taste) so I balloon up.
We never had a need for curfew as I was never a party person, even in high school.

I have a 20 year, disabled, child at home.

He pays $450 room and board, which includes just about everything. He manages to eat $550 a month but....

He is expected to contribute to the housework because he lives here.

He is expected to follow household rules because I can't be kept awake all night, will not have my house trashed, and have two other, younger children, who should not see bad behavior.

His situation, is different than that of our older typical daughter. She also had to pay rent, contribute to house-work, and be considerate. We didn't impose curfews or more childish rules but it was made clear that if she couldn't be considerate she could get out.

She finally did move out and is doing pretty good on her own.

I have adult daughter, 26, living at home temporarily while she attends grad school. Respect covers it all

She works full time as a social worker and attends college 2 nights a week and all day sat. since she is a social worker, she doesn't make much money and what she does make, we told her put as much as she can toward her grad tuition so she will have less to pay back. I don't even know what bills she has because it isn't my business. I just drop her mail on the counter for her to pick up.

As far as rules: Respect covers it all. She respects us and would not do anything that would upset us. She isn't a party girl and very rarely goes out with anyone in town. If she is does meet a girlfriend, she leaves a note so we won't worry; we do the same for her. She buys groceries she realizes we need and those which she wants but we don't purchase. I've taken her out to eat; she's taken me out to eat. She does her own laundry etc. and does not wait for me to ask her to do a 'chore'' if something needs done and she's home and not studying for an exam, she just does it. yet, with her work/school schedule, she is rarely home.

when she finishes her grad program next year, she will be moving to the same state her boyfriend is in.