Does anyone want to start a thread of educational jokes?

I'll start ...

David

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Who invented fractions ?
Henry the 1/8 !

What's the difference between an American student and an English student ?
About 3000 miles !

Teacher: Can anyone tell me how many seconds there are in a year ?
Pupil: 12 - 2nd January, 2nd February...!

Why did the teacher wear sunglasses ?
Because his class was so bright !

“The principal is a dummy,” said the boy to the girl.
“Do you know who I am?” asked the girl.
“No,” said the boy.
“I’m the principal’s daughter.”
The boy was silent for a moment. “Do you know who I am?” he finally asked.
“No,” said the girl.
“Whew!” said the boy.

Teacher: Can anyone give me the name of a liquid that won't freeze ?
Pupil: Hot water !

Teacher: I told you to stand at the end of the line ?
Pupil: I tried, but there was someone already there !

Teacher: I want you to tell me the longest sentence you can think of
Pupil: Life imprisonment !

"Dad, can you write in the dark?"
"I think so. What is it you want me to write?"
"Your name on this report card."

The child comes home from his first day at school.
Mother asks, "What did you learn today?"
The kid replies, "Not enough. I have to go back tomorrow."

Teacher: If I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?
Patty: Seven!
Teacher: No, listen carefully again. If I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?
Patty: Seven!
Teacher: Let's try this another way. If I give you two apples and two apples and another two apples, how many apples have you got?
Patty: Six.
Teacher: Good. Now if I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?
Patty: Seven!
Teacher: How on earth do you work out that three lots of two rabbits is seven?
Patty: I've already got one rabbit at home now!

Teacher: I despair, Fred, how do you manage to get so many things wrong in a day ?
Pupil: Because I always get here early sir !

Teacher: If you add 34,312 + 76,188, divide the answer by 3 and times by 4, what do you get ?
Pupil: The wrong answer !

Teacher: If there are seven flies sitting on a desk and I hit one with a ruler, how many are left ?
Pupil: Just the squashed one !

A teacher was having trouble teaching arithmetic to one little boy. So she said, "if you reached in your right pocket and found a nickel, and you reached in your left pocket and found another one, what would you have?"
"Somebody else's pants."

Teacher: In music, if "f" means "forte", what does "ff" mean ?
Pupil: Eighty

"Haven't I seen your face before?" a judge demanded, looking down at the defendant.
"You have, Your Honor," the man answered hopefully. "I gave your son violin lessons last winter."
"Ah, yes," recalled the judge. "Twenty years!"

Teacher: Can you tell me something important that didn't exist 100 years ago ?
Pupil: Me !

Teacher: Why are you late, Joseph?
Joseph: Because of a sign down the road.
Teacher: What does a sign have to do with your being late?
Joseph: The sign said, "School Ahead, Go Slow!"