Thread: My parents

Surely it depends. If the parents were in need, of course I would help them out. But "supporting" doesnt mean enabling bad habits.

That is a bit of a loaded question. Families have obligations toward one another which does not include enabling, as tatertot said.

I would help my parents or any other family members, if I was able to, because I love them - not because I OWE them anything. I would not expect or WANT my children to help me for any other reason than they love me


BTW Welcome to our board. Tell us about yourself.

Well, my mam was the one who chose to have me. She knew what it involved bringing a child into the world.

However, if she needs help with money for things that is needed then I will bend over backwards to be able to help her. I would not pay for her if she had stupidly ran up credit card bills and so on.

My dad on the other hand, I wouldn't spit on him if he was on fire.

Yes, without question and without reservation.

I don't really understand why there would be any question.

I know that the United States is not exactly, er, enlightened when it comes to the care and treatment of elders. As a culture, we don't honor our elders as we should. We pay homage to youth and seem to be ashamed of age. While we loudly proclaim the importance of "family values."

I went to the local Pumpkin Patch last week. I saw a colleague there, and introduced her to my son, and my mother. She'd already met my grandson. She said, "Wow! You brought 4 generations today! That's amazing."

Maybe. I didn't tell her that, in addition to my mother, myself, my son, and my grandson, there is exactly one other person on the face of the earth we call family; my other son, 900 miles away. That we just don't have family connections.

As the only child of a single parent who had no other family, who else is going to care for my mom, if not for me? She loved me, worked hard at numerous jobs to raise me, and has always been there for me. We are there for each other. I'm an incredibly self-sufficient person. I've had to be. I do my best not to depend on anyone. I like knowing that I can turn to my sons without any embarrassment, or any accounting in anyone's ledger, if I need something, though. They do the same for me. We don't have all of the numbers, the ceremonies, the rituals, the traditions, that traditional families in the U.S. seem to, but we love and support one another unquestioningly. That's our version of "family values." I don't worry that my sons will someday warehouse me somewhere in a nursing home, resenting the cost and begrudging me a visit now and then. When the time comes that I can't take care of myself, they will be there. Just as I am, and will be, for my mother.