Texas or California?

**David of Houston** · 04-05-2002, 01:56 AM

Hello Cyber-friends,

It's 8:30 PM here in Texas and I'm back home in Houston munching on some Chinese dumplings while I type this brief message.

The job fair in Portland was quite interesting. There were nearly one thousand teachers competing for just a handful of jobs.

The representatives from Oregon and Washington weren't interviewing at all. Due to budget cutbacks and uncertainty over whether or not the unions in their respective districts will accept their new contracts, I couldn't find a single district that would interview me.

California was desperate to interview me. I interviewed with two regional centers. I also interviewed with a place called Taylor - which is just outside the San Francisco Bay Area.

The recruiter told me that Taylor wants me - but he has to confirm this with his people back in California. He told me that I should be receiving a phone call in two weeks.

The only problem is that I don't know whether I want to go to California or not.

I've been thinking about relocating back to Austin where I've owned a house for several years. (I owned a house back when I was still working overseas).

I'm not really sure what I should do.

It would make perfect sense to move to Austin from Houston. I'd have lots of space for my stuff. I could do some much needed home improvement projects. I could garden. I'd also be LIVING in the house - so if I eventually sold the house, the money could roll over into a new house. Right now - if I were to sell the house I'd have to pay a capital gains tax since it's not my primary residence.

On the otherhand - if I moved to Austin - I'd still be teaching in a state that emphasizes teaching to the test. There is a very real possibility that I wouldn't be happy teaching in this state.

If I moved to California - I have relatives in Stockton and Berkley. My (aging) father is living in Martinez. I'm not sure if I really want to live near any of my relatives since I'm not particularly close to anyone in the family. My father has also been trying to get me married off and living in relatively close proxmity could create a bit of friction.

California is also expensive - though Taylor would be cheaper than living in the immediate Bay Area.

I'm leaning towards the idea of staying in Texas - but wonder if I'd be "missing out" on the opportunity to form closer relations with my relatives if I didn't move to California.

What to do? What to do?

Any thoughts?

David

**Kim/K/SCal** · 04-05-2002, 05:18 AM

Hi David,

Welcome back! I am glad that the interviewing in California went well and am sorry that the Pacific Northwest did not come through. It is their loss.

I guess you have to examine a couple of things:

1. Are you connected to the house emotionally? Does it mean something to you? Is it *the* house or is it *a* house? You CAN live in THAT house and be miserable in your job. Is it worth it? Or can you sell that house and buy another house in the vicinity of the bay area.... and "nest" there?

2. Your family is the only one you have and when they are gone, they are gone. It is a law of physics. You can't get your dad back.... these are the days of your life.... right? Is your family "toxic?" If so, steering clear is probably better for your overall well-being. Do they love you? Do they respect you? How will you feel if you do NOT return to the proximity of your father and you remain somewhat estranged and he dies? How will you feel if you get some quality years with him? Will you be able to assertively tell him that you are NOT interested in any of the gals he has lined up and to GET OVER IT. Or can you be good-natured? He wants you "settled." To him, being unmarried is "unsettled." He worries.... he's a dad. Let him.

3. California is expensive... but your salary should be commiserate with your experience. Most districts, especially those "desperate" enough, will give you credit now for AT LEAST 8-10 years, if not more. If they come back to you and really, really, want you..... ask for your "years." YEARS=MONEY.... Mo' money for California living. You can buy a house (Bay area IS horribly expensive... you will have to look around) and NEST there.... and see your dad.

4. You are unhappy teaching in Texas. You are letting the creative juices be sucked right out of you there. Why sell yourself short? Are you ever going to get this time back? Life is too short and precious to spend it dealing with idiots like your administrator.... the TAAS Nazi.

5. Are there idiots in CA? Oh yeah..... We grow them nicely. Interview prospective principals well, my friend.

**David of Houston** · 04-05-2002, 03:31 PM

Originally Posted by Kim/K/SCal

Are you connected to the house emotionally? Does it mean something to you? Is it *the* house or is it *a* house? You CAN live in THAT house and be miserable in your job. Is it worth it? Or can you sell that house and buy another house in the vicinity of the bay area.... and "nest" there?

Hi Kim!

Thanks for your comments.

Regarding my house - I guess the direction I'm coming from is this: I have lived in 6 different places during the last six years. I've lived in Dhahran, Saudi Arabia and Ras Tanura, Saudi Arabia. I've lived in Beirut, Lebanon. I've lived in Burlington, North Carolina and Reedsport, Oregon. I'm now living in Houston, Texas.

If I move to California - the move will be temporary because I will eventually want a house.

If I move to Austin, I'd be able to move into a house that I've owned for several years and will have time to COMPLETELY unpack.

I will FINALLY be able to get some of the furniture and appliances I've been wanting for several years.

Book cases - to house the HUNDREDS of books I have packed away in boxes.

A desk so I don't have to work at the kitchen table.

A formal dining room table - which I've never had.

A freezer unit - because I do a lot of cooking and one freezer isn't enough for me.

A BBQ grill ...

I have relatives (that I'm not really close to) in California - but I have FRIENDS in Austin. (On an emotional level I'm much closer to my friends than I am to my family).

I am definitely leaning towards Austin.

My moral compass is telling me to take the job in California for all the reasons you alluded to ... but crass materialism and the desire to "nest" in a place that is truly my own is pulling me towards Austin.

Does this make any sense?

One last thing ... having previously taught in Texas, I'm vested in the Texas teacher retirement system. If I stayed for ten more years I think I'd qualify for retirement and benefits.

David

**RebaRed** · 04-05-2002, 09:12 PM

Dilemmas are always a difficult situation. What to do?? What to do??

I can see both sides of your coin. California...Texas...

The overriding theme I am getting from your threads is that you are looking for permanance (too lazy to look up the spelling of this word)--a place to call home. You do have a home in Austin, so that tells me you enjoy that place.

As for the teaching, I can't imagine that EVERY school in Texas requires all their teachers so little creativity; i.e. teaching on the same page. Maybe so, but I'm confident you could find a place that is flexible to some degree. People would have to love your creativity, costumes... I am sure there are some places that could fit your needs.

Are you taking a poll??? If so, I would lean toward Texas. After all, you could get to California and experience the same thing you did when you went to Texas. Everyone would tell you the perks, but you could find their teaching to the test is possibly as intense as in Texas.

Have a home. Enjoy the sedentary life for a while. Get a freezer. Cook incredible dishes and perfect that tex-mex!!! Of course, call home every once in a while to say "Hi".

Best wishes,
RebaRed

**Hope4Me** · 04-05-2002, 09:18 PM

I am with RebaRed!!!

I say have a home and enjoy. It sounds like you are already leaning toward Texas

By the Way . . . we painted the Mo Power Chair pink, with daisys - Ha

**Dianndra** · 04-05-2002, 09:27 PM

I think your mind is about 75% made up -- and it looks like Texas to me. You need to do what I call a "GO--NO GO" chart. Make two columns on a sheet of paper and list all the advantages of going to California under "GO" and all the advantages of staying in Texas under "NO GO". See what happens. You've almost already done this, so it should be no real chore.

Would you then be "David of Austin"?

**Bill T** · 04-06-2002, 01:04 AM

Now that I read more of your thoughts, David, what I said in my e mail might not be so relevant.

Dorothy was right, you know....

There is NO place like "Home." Defining "home" can be tricky, as I am sure you know.

Just got "home" from my trip to Florida so this has some relevance to me right now. Well, not completely accurate...I am in Fayetteville, at Mary's house, but will be going home to Browns Summit Tomorrow. Florida is an okay place to visit (no offense intended here!) but I like calling North Carolina home.

And, as you know, I can certainly relate to the family vs friends thing. Nuts...I don't think I ever really had a "family" (fact, NOT fantasy y all) in terms of a nuclear family. My friends and aquaintences were my family. Still are.

You already have some good advice on this David, and I agree that you definetly seem to be leaning towards Austin. Psychologists say that when you are in a dilemna, leaning towards one solution and away from the other tends to increase the chance you will pick that first solution. Yeah....didn't take rocket science to figure that one out, huh? Sounds more like gravity to me.

The nightmare of a school you are in has many problems. You and I talked about the biggest ones when I visited you this winter. Leadership is everything. You have a bull terrier for a principal. That about sums it up.

What's the chances of your getting another principal like that? Well...chances are about the same in Texas as they are in California. At least in Texas, you would have the support of loyal friends, right? Would your family accord you the same support?

Best of luck, my friend!!! We're all pulling for you!!!

**Catherine** · 04-06-2002, 05:44 AM

It sounds like next year it will be "David of Austin"! You need to follow your heart on this one, trust me you head WILL follow!

I am sorry that things didn't work out for a job in Oregon. You seemed very keen on moving there, although I'm not sure why?? I live on the West Coast and it sure is wet up here! I'd give anything for a bit of that Texas heat and sunshine! Okay not anything - I couldn't live with the testing!

Things can't be as bad everywhere in Texas as they are at your present school. I am sure there must be a few good administrators left out there??? Good luck finding them. Wherever you end up they will be lucky to have you

Keep us posted on what you decide.

Catherine

**joyfulplace** · 04-06-2002, 02:45 PM

Hi David
Not sure if I qualify to give opinion or thoughts here, but figured what the heck.....

I can't say much of the choice between Texas and California. I am not even from the US. But one thought that strikes me here is how as we grow older our priorities change. And what seems important and affects our decisions about what kind of life we want is no longer so as we age. I say this because I am noticing that more and more what I want to consider my life satisfying is different now. Peace of mind seems to be more important later in life. And to get peace of mind varies with each of us. Is it a house to call home, where we can garden or just sit on the porch or read quietly in the evenings? Or is friends coming in and out and social activities abounding?
I could go on and on, but I'll try not to.
I do hope you find the answers inside of you soon. And remember you can always change your mind whenever you want to. that's the beauty of being in charge of our own lives.
Good luck
Marilyn

**joyfulplace** · 04-06-2002, 02:52 PM

Hi David
Not sure if I qualify to give opinion or thoughts here, but figured what the heck.....

I can't say much of the choice between Texas and California. I am not even from the US. But one thought that strikes me here is how as we grow older our priorities change. And what seems important and affects our decisions about what kind of life we want is no longer so as we age. I say this because I am noticing that more and more what I want to consider my life satisfying is different now. Peace of mind seems to be more important later in life. And to get peace of mind varies with each of us. Is it a house to call home, where we can garden or just sit on the porch or read quietly in the evenings? Or is friends coming in and out and social activities abounding?
I could go on and on, but I'll try not to.
I do hope you find the answers inside of you soon. And remember you can always change your mind whenever you want to. that's the beauty of being in charge of our own lives.
Good luck
Marilyn