Thread: Touchy subject...gay student in conservative class

I've had some openly gay students- and I have made it a point not to bring it up, if I am aware of it. If asked what I think, I answer honestly ("I disapprove, but that's your business.") I teach in a largely rural conservative community and such goings-on are generally frowned on by the populace. While I am not going out of my way to change anybody's mind, I am also not going to allow outright oppression, and my disapproval does not extend to whether they succeed in my class or not.

I hate conflict resolution and am pretty much clueless at it. Confused

I can well relate.....wouldn't be nice if we could just show up and teach?

ErBear, I think it's great that you are so concerned about how all of this is affecting your students. If I were in your position, I probably wouldn't say something to the class about tolerance in that context, because it is unlikely that what you say will change anyone's mind, and teenagers are just the people who would decide to make this into a moral battle. If it were me, I would probably ask her to come by after school or at lunch, and then just say, "I know you were really upset by what happened yesterday. I just wanted to let you know that I'm proud of you because you aren't afraid to be who you are." Then, maybe you can find a more indirect, personal way to address it in the future with the class. A direct confrontation over the issue is unlikely to change anyone's mind and might upset some students (and in a worst-case scenario, some parents).

I have an openly gay student in one of my classes, and at the beginning of the year, the boys were really mean to him. One day he came to class in tears (I let him leave to go to the bathroom) -- I don't know exactly what happened in the hallway, but he was obviously upset.

So the next day, I came in with a story about bullying (I teach Reading). Before we read, I had the students journal about a time that they either bullied someone, experienced bullying, or saw someone be bullied. Then I told them what I would have written, which was about how one of my best friends in high school was gay, and a lot of the other kids were really cruel to him. I didn't make an issue of what I think about homosexuality, but just said that it upset me that anyone thinks they have the right to hurt someone else if that person isn't hurting them. I also pointed out that he was not bullied in college (we went to college together, too), and he even had straight guy friends in college, which he didn't have in high school. I said that I suspected it was because high school boys are still a bit insecure and don't want anyone to think they're gay, where college guys feel more secure and don't care what people think.

That class has really turned around, and the bullying has stopped. I'm sure my story and the story we read about bullying weren't the only factors, but I think they helped. I don't think I changed anyone's mind about homosexuality, but I'm not sure that is our job is teachers. Keeping kids safe and letting them know that our room is a safe zone is our job, though.

I know, though, that my student feels safe in my class. He wrote me a note in his journal thanking me for it.

So I think keeping polics out of this issue might work better. I would not use the word "tolerance," because some people - particularly very conservative teenagers - will take that in the direction of "Why should we be tolerant with immoral behavior? Should we be tolerant with drugs? Prostititutes?" Oh, I can just picture the teenage self-righteousness now. :roll: Instead, maybe you could just remind students to focus on the importance of remembering who is near them and how their words might affect others, keeping debates at a level that is still kind and respectful without getting personal or insulting, to treat others as they would like to be treated if someone were writing an essay that went against something in their own lifestyle. If you have a personal story that they can relate to (maybe you could tell about a time that someone argued against your religion in a disrespectful way and how it made you feel, or something along those lines that your conservative students can relate to), that would probably keep them from feeling that they're being censored and still get your point across. And I still think giving a private word to your student to let her know that she is safe with you might help, too.

I neither approve of or subscribe to the gay lifestyle, but I always find it curious how the more "religious" people tend to be more intolerant and judgemental when it comes to matters like this. What gives such people the right, particularly when Jesus told us NOT to judge one another?

I was always taught to love the sinner and hate the sin, not otherwise.

Mrs. D, thank you for the suggestions.
These students are smart, and they would definitely pick up on even subtle allusions to the issue.

I love Mrs. D's suggestions. I also use information/materials from Teaching Tolerance at teachingtolerance.org They have lots of great information, free materials (they take forever to arrive), and a free magazine. I also make a big deal about treating others with respect and kindness.