Thread: Update

Guys, I so appreciate all of your help yesterday. I am just very lost right now. Paulie- I hope you realize that I am unfortuanately telling the truth here. I know what you are talking about because I have also gotten into some discussion with people and been very hurt to realize that they were making things up to get a reaction. I wish I was making this up. It truly feels like a huge nightmare right now.

As far as hubby and me..I think we had a turning point last night. When I got home- I had been out and I had called my sister and she surprisingly , not sided, but defended hubby some- saying that she thinks he just is unsure of what he wants and needs to decide that on his own and that I am probably not the problem. She also reminded me that this crazy lady part of our problems needs to be seperate from everything else and she is probably right.

Hubby actually wanted to talk last night when I got home. The long and the short of it was that he acknowleged my attempts to make things better hbut he was really angry that I broached the topic of a lawyer (even though he was the one looking for an apartment) He said he was not trying b/c of that comment. I explanined that I only said lawyer b/c I knew if he was moving out I'd need representation- not to sue his butt like he was thinking but to protect myself and paperwork. etc.

He is (again) acting like he wants this to work..that he is under a lot of stress at work etc. But I stated to him several times that he has to understand what all of this is doing to me and how I never asked for any of this etc.
It did bother me though that he kept bring ing it back to a poor me attitude. Whenever we have a big fight- he blames it on stress at towrk. This time was no different..he said he was depressed over my comment..that the kids were the only thing keeping him going, etc... I think he jsut doesn't want me to clamp down on his running around.

As far as crazy lady..hubby truly thinks she is wacko and he is concerned about his safety with her. He had pitiflly said maybe he should stop doing things with the lady he likes to hang out with b./c that seems to be the crazy ladys obsession. She wants to get the two of them apart and hubby thinks maybe he should do what she is wanting. Personally I agree. I think if he just stays away from all of them for a few months and let this wacko find some other family to destroy.

I offered for him to come to counseling with me but he never said yes, or no.

I hope that hubby is being truthful that he wants this to work. I'd like to think it will. He made several somments last night that he was waiting for me to throw him out. I told him he was awlways free to go if that is what he wants but I would NEVER throw him out of the house. That I was committed to making the marriage work and I have donw everything is my power to make it work. He grudgingly totally agreed with me.

(But then he went ot bed without saying goodnight and left for work without saying good bye) SO I will accept what comes at face value and see what comes but I am not going to close my eyes to what is around me.



I really do appreciate what support you all have given me here. This has been miserable and sometimes I just need to vent and I can't do that in RL...