Venting (sort of)

**Zheljko** · 03-04-2005, 01:53 PM

Well, day before yesterday I finally found out that neither of the two schools where I applied will take me for a long-sub... All day I was on and off with feeling down. Three feelings: a)thinking about something else; b)thinking about something I was going to use in the lesson (I was planning units on amphibians and reptiles, for example); c)realizing that I will not have a chance to use it this year.
Yesterday was slightly better, I found things to occupy me so I did not think about that a lot; but when I went to the city, the bus passed by both schools and both times I had this thought "Look, that school

where they didn't accept me :cry: ".
Today I am almost completely OK, but next week the paperwork will be finished and I will have to go there to collect it (I don't want my documents to be lost in the snail mail). So I will have to go through the same feeling again ugh :? .

The interview question at the one school where they called me for the interview was the same as in the last year's October school (they asked but a few questions; one of the committee read aloud pieces of my CV and the other wrote them down in her little notebook - it seems they never read the CV before?). They asked me what are my experiences of working with students. I answered that they were mostly great and that after the students learn the rules we work on very well. Same answer as last year. This is actually my real feeling. I don't know if I should rephrase it somehow. I know I shouldn't say that I detest kids' bad behavior, and kids DO become much better after few days I actually do not have real problems (except in that loser school).

**Bananas** · 03-04-2005, 02:24 PM

It is hard to want something and not see it fulfilled. Survival is the first priority in paying those bills. Hopefully, you will find a position that matches your strengths and the school's needs. Good luck!

**Lev** · 03-06-2005, 03:12 AM

Things happen for many reasons and there may be no rhyme nor reason to them. I have come to believe they happen for the good if we're clever enough to find it. It may seem like a disappointment but there are opportunities that are now available to you because you aren't in suspense.
I spent a year and a half looking for a permanent job. While subbing, I worked in some tough schools and got my "chops".
When I got hired at my current school, I found out that they had the highest suspension, expulsion rate in the county. I recall well how i felt that night. I was terrified and didn't sleep much- kept tossing and turning. I finally got up and wrote out a dialogue with myself and learned that the "thing" I feared most was embarrassment. Thing is, I knew science, I knew the technical aspects of teaching but I was afraid of not being able to handle the situation and being found wanting.
When school started a few weeks later my hands were shaking as I introduced myself and the course to the kids. I had a rough time for a few months and then got my balance. I kept a daily journal of my impressions, which proved priceless because it allowed me to examine the factors that most distressed me and cure them.
Now, 9 years later I have the measure of myself and I know what I'm dealing with. The challenges I've experienced have been very instructive.
You will get hired and you'll find out new things about yourself. You will become much stronger and more confident. See if you can find a copy of The Art of War by Sun Tsu. Its certainly available in English, but I don't know if its in Serbian. There are lessons there for addressing any kind of conflict- even internal ones that may be of use.

**Zheljko** · 03-06-2005, 07:12 PM

Thank you, my friends.
I scheduled several other things to do tomorrow in addition to visiting the schools, so I will not have too much time to think about them. In the long run, we will see what will happen.