Thread: WHO ya gonna call????!!!!!!!!!

Snake buster!!!!

Believe this or not, I have now ascended to the level of legend in my own time at my middle school. Just call me Crocodile Billybob!!!

We were at lunch today when one of the girls from another team came running into the cafeteria fto find me.

"Mr (assistant principal) needs you right now!" The child's eyes were wide in terror.

What in blue heaven....?

"there's a snake!" she shrieked, virtually running in place. "he wants you to come get it"

Look of complete bafflement from me. Was there no one in the whole school who could deal with a silly ole snake... no administrator, custodian?....gracious....there were other science teachers. Where in *****@#$%&&^ were they??

The answer? Fleeing in terror, hiding behind locked doors.

Holy popcorn, batman, was this a snake or godzilla? :?: :!: :!:

After a few more moments of uncertainty, I departed on my knights errand, to save my middle school from the dasterdly clutches of the evil serpent! :twisted:

(background music: "I need a hero!")

Down the encore hallway I go, past shrieking children, fleeing teachers (oh the shame of it all!) Forward into the back parking lot I go.

So....where is this monster? Does it breathe fire?

Hysterical bystanders (those who weren't running away) pointed in the general direction of the peril.

The cry went up "Kill it! Kill it!"

"What???? Why?" I was genuinely puzzled.

"It's a snake!!!" came the frantic reply. :evil:

Madness, I thought and went around to the other side of the 7th grade building. It was there that I found our brave assistant principal and one of our intrepid custodial staff holding off the foe (at a distance of about 20 feet I might add). And what terrible danger had I come to extinguish??? What awesome peril lurked there??? :?

Some poor little black racer. Well, okay, the snake was about three feet long, but was as skinny as my thumb and looked utterly terrified and completely confused.

(Background music from the Beatles movie "Help!")

I strode up to the looming menace, fully expecting it to beat a hasty retreat across the sun drenched lawn. No deal!!! The poor thing was just trying to get out of the sun and into the shade next to the building. It would veer away only to swerve back towards the shade. 8O

Alas....a mexican standoff....in North Carolina!!!

I finally stepped up to it and it curled up in a striking pose. The onlookers shrieked and I heard some of the 7th grade spectators fleeing for safety, slamming the sliding windows shut.

The fearsome beast did strike at me, twice. Both times, he bounched off my shoes, hurting himself much more than he did me.

(Background music: theme from superman)

More shrieks. It was time for some decisive action! I borrowed one of the poles (or whatever they were) from our noble assistant principal and carefully tried to push down on the snake just behind its head, but, alas, he was a clever fellow and slithered off, only to make another run for the shade.

More screams from the 7th grade spectators (didn't these kids have work to do???!) :x I finally pressed the snake to the ground, gently but firmly, then grasped it behind the head and picked it up.

It promptly coiled itself around my arm and looked up at me as if to say "Yeah, you go ahead and relax that grip on my head and see what I do to you, pale face!"

But alas, all is well that ends well. Along with my intrepid escort (all three principals had joined us at this point - at a distance of course), I took the wayward serpent down into the shady woods and let him go.

And thus I have been raised to the status of hero.....

These people need to go get a life....and some spine.....

Geesh.....